Creeping into the Sunlight

I regret somewhat I'm slow to move.  Yet in reality  that is probably a character trait that has been to my advantage in that I will not shoot from my hip and make sure my powder is dry as I venture into the world of posting my thought life.

I find that I needed to come down from some dizzying heights where my flights of fantasy could have waylaid me not so long ago, and as such, as circumstance has changed modestly, my thought life has had a modest change of course which allows a window for me see more clearly what American Dystopia should and maybe should not be.

America is as complicated an object of love as any human being could be psychologically betrothed too.  Where challenged by it's history, memories, folklore, meaning.  Every single iota of it confounds us but my appreciation of it's glories are undying.  No, I am not going to abandon my object of love and desire.


How others do so, so casually and haphazardly I find that as confounding as my internal compass turning me towards my true love, and that is America.  I love her warts and all. Really I find it depressingly immature how so many citizens have to go through some stage in life despising America. Going loathsomely  through their life never transcending that malaise. Se la vi.

I'm yes,  a conspiracist.  Yet the meat grinder of life has made me come out of the process a sympathetic lover of my country.  I know it's terrible and most tragic and unforgivable crimes.  I've dug deep and long to find and  face it ugliness and this country is not a rotting corpse needing to be buried or criminal in stir deserving the gallows.  It's living and breathing and in periods of birth and rebirth as every and all countries and peoples and individuals and even as all cell life experiences metamorphosis in their life cycles.

My blog I hope will be like birth or even rebirth;  painful loud joyous bloody insanely bewildering but a flash of new vision creeping into the sunlight.